The Briefcase: New Age Research

Although The Briefcase is a work of fiction, I decided to incorporates many real locations and real entities that were practical and would not find me in a lawsuit.  When I started The Briefcase, I was living in Westchester County, NY.  For whatever reason, the only logical place I could think of for a person to find a briefcase floating in the water was the Florida Keys.  Why I did not choose nearby Long Island, the Hudson River or the New Jersey shore is beyond my comprehension.  I know all these places.  I have been to them hundreds of times.  The closest I have ever been to Bahia Honda Key is a technology conference boondoggle at The Breakers Resort in Palm Beach Florida.  The Briefcase action all begins in the most southwestern part of the Florida Keys just east of the city of Key West.  The only way I can do this is with the help of my research assistant:

Google

I used Google to search facts, places, view maps and verify some of the technology I used in the novel.  Readers of The Briefcase are forewarned that the fact that I could not verify some factual point did not alway prevent me from including it in the novel.  A case in point is that in The Briefcase the plot is enhanced with the use of an underwater drone or very small unmanned submarine. I needed this drone to be able to go very long distances that were beyond the range a battery powered engine.  I conveniently added a fuel cell system to propel the drone.  I am fairly certain such a system is not technically practical for a small drone.  Hopefully, this will slip by for most readers.  After all, it is not as fantastic as Scotty's Transporter needed to move those Star Trek episode along.

A place where I did use Google to make certain a critical prop in the novel was possible is the briefcase itself.  This is not a spoiler.  The promotional material for The Briefcase clearly states that the briefcase contains money, lots of money.  I envisioned the money in the briefcase to be $1,000 bills.  This was fine, until a friend of mine mentioned that although $1,000 bills are in circulation, they are now longer minted and are rare to find.  I now was faced with a choice.  If I switch the to $100 bills, how much money can I get into the briefcase.  If I change the amount, I have a gazillion other changes to make in the novel.  The novel also loses some of its punch with less money.  I got to use my four years of scientific and engineering higher education.  Although a normal executive attache case is not large enough, a briefcase used by an attorney or accountant is large enough.  So I leave in the briefcase and leave it up to the reader make their own mental picture of what the briefcase looks like.

The Briefcase: "Open wide, I am your editor and this won't hurt."

Dr. Joel Feimer is my editor.  He is a fine gentleman with a gentle nature (most of the time).  He read my 120,000 word first draft and praised the plot as it existed at the time.  Praise is always a good way for an editor to help soften what will come next when dealing with an author's ego.  I believe it is safe to say that the typical author's ego rivals that of a politician's ego.  

Next he gently mentioned he would like to know more about some of the characters. He pointed out that sometimes he could not figure out what was motivating a character's actions.  He said the most interesting books he had read -- this is from someone whose home is like a library and who rents a storage locker so he can rotate books in and out of storage and the house. Joel is not capable of walking past a bookstore without stopping to browse it's contents.  He recommended I create a biography for all the major characters.  This would help me create patterns of actions for the characters based on their personal motivations.  If there is an action that is out of character, it will need explanation.  I begrudgingly started these biographies, but questioned their worth since in my mind this was not moving the novel forward.

Once I had started this task and shared what he said was an ongoing task --  the biographies must be updated as they become more complex characters, he next pointed out a passage where one of the major protagonist was talking to his wife.  He pointed out that I wrote they were on the patio of their home.  He assumed I had an idea of what that patio looked like.  Readers will not be able to read my mind on how that patio looks.  I have to give them enough information so the reader and I have a shared vision of the patio.  There will always be room for the reader to enhance the scene, but I should not have a twenty by twenty foot patio in mind and the reader a one hundred foot long multi-leveled patio overlooking an ornate swimming pool.

So I start chapter by chapter revising Word for Mac manuscript.  Joel and I were working on one shared document. Soon the documents had more notes and comments than actual text!  

I will add more in my next post.

The Briefcase: The Editor Cometh

After I finished my first draft of The Briefcase, I knew it now needed the touch of an editor.  Here are some correspondences that portray my search:

This is an email I sent out blindly to a potential editor:

On the advise of her agent and editor, my friend and author, Maggie Barbieri, suggested your website (bookdoc.com) as a place to find an editor/mentor for my manuscript.  I have just finished a first draft of my first novel.  I am pleased with what I have produced, but am very aware that it needs help.  I am not a very disciplined person and have been told that in my writing there is not one tense I do not like.  I have written a mystery/suspense novel with what I believe is an interesting, fresh perspective.  Of course, this is my opinion.  I have written about 120,000 words and focused mainly at moving the plot forward rather than attention to descriptions and character development. My education background is in chemistry and business.  I finished my career working in operations for a dot com company.  I wrote my first short stories a few years ago after retiring at age 62.

What do you suggest for the next steps I should take? I am currently in Naples, FL.  I will return to Westchester Count at the beginning of May.

Here is the response after sending him my 120,000 word first draft:

Thanks for the files. You have a very inventive plot, though it (apparently) seems you are still in search of an ending. After careful consideration I have concluded that whatever I bring by way of editing to the book will not sufficiently enhance its chances of being published to  justify your investing in my time. My sincere wishes for good luck as you more forward with completion of the book. Thanks very much for thinking of me.
I have erased your files in order to prevent any inadvertent disclosure of your material,

Best regards, 

So I tried another editor. He had edited books for Robert Ludlum:

I want to move ahead.  I will send you the double spaced manuscript along with a check for $2,000.  I need an address to send these materials.  I am not good at proofreading my own writing.  It is too easy for me to read over my mistakes.  Word has helped me correct quite a few spelling mistakes, but the auto correct feature has made some interesting substitutions for my typing mistakes.   I will go to Office Max on Friday to make your copy.  I believe it is 292 pages.

I hope we can forge a good partnership in this endeavor.

FYI - The vast majority of the book was written with me sitting at my computer and just typing away.  At times my race to keep my line of thought forced me to move the plot ahead rather than setting the scene or developing the characters.  I hope you find the story intriguing and get to like the characters.

This was done and I received a synopsis initial assessment.  It does not include the 281 specific recommendations he gave to met:

Dear Mr. Holt,
             I’m afraid I can’t be encouraging about The Briefcase. You obviously know your horseracing – the betting scenes, although there are too many of them, are the best in the book – and you use of the drone is intriguing. But, no disrespect, you are simply not a writer, thereby joining the 99.9% of Americans who aren’t either. Your dialogue is particularly weak. You’ll have to learn to use contractions, to avoid using characters’ names when they’re speaking face-to-face, to get your past and present tenses in line, to get inside your characters’ heads rather than simply telling us what they’re feeling.
             Your two main male characters – Chet and Patty – need development. You’ll have to give us a psychological motive for Chet to keep the money; greed isn’t enough, he’ll have to need it, and the device of the dream isn’t strong enough. The way you present him now, he’s unattractive (particularly after his adulterous adventure), and unless the reader sympathizes with him, your story can’t work. Patty is a potentially more interesting man. I like it that he’s censured by the Agency and so winds up siding with Chet, but we need much more of his emotions, his ambivalence, his rage at his wife, his self-doubt. I realize you’re intending the book as a comedy, but genuine feeling and real life situations will only help. Anna is to date the most attractive character in the book, and she shouldn’t be – she’s a subsidiary figure. But at least she’s capable of introspection, something Chet ands Patty desperately need.
             I hope this helps. In your e-mail to me to say that you just sat at your computer and typed away. That’s not way to write a book. You have to outline it so that things planted early pay off later; you have to write biographies of your characters so they remain true to your vision of them; you have to study each sentence to make sure it’s a clear and well written as your can manage. The writing of a book takes a minimum of a year – my guess is that you wrote this in a few weeks. Anyway, call me at 1-203-341-8607 with your questions and comments.
                                                                                     All best, 

These were hard rejections for me. It took me some time and a lot of reflection to realize the two professional were correct.  I found an editor I could work with and trust.  He teaches writing at a local college in Westchester County, New York and is the author of several books.  He is also a friend who lived in the condo on the floor above where I resided.

  

The Briefcase: Germ of an Idea

As mentioned in the previous post I started to write in 2008.  I shared some of my earliest short story ideas with a friend in the publishing business. He immediately recommended several books to help me in my quest to become a writer. I read the material, some were helpful and some just too tedious to get through. One book was an anthology of short stories by John Cheever. This book was inspirational and way beyond what I was writing. But it set a standard. I understand what good writing is supposed to be.

I then started a short story that grew too long. It was set in the condominium where I lived. It was an impressive place built as a vacation hotel for NYC white collar workers in the early 1920's. the place was built from quarried stone near the Croton Reservoir in Westchester County, NY. The grounds included 740 acres and a 40 acre pond 35 miles north of Manhattan. I came up with a fairly good plot and some interesting characters. I shared my novelette with an author friend. She was supportive, but suggested the addition of several deaths to enhance the story!  I took this to heart but put the idea on the back burner.

My next idea was The Briefcase. The spark of the story is a recurring dream I have had for years. I decided to pattern my novel as a James Patterson work using many short chapters. I raced through several chapters with only one objective -- moving the plot forward. I did not know where I was going or how to get there. The book had no outline. I kept no character list. I was at the helm of a ship without a rudder. But I would include deaths.

More to come.

Author, Author

The Briefcase by Charles Holt

I wrote the post below just overnight years ago.  My new novel, The Briefcase was just released on August 9, 2017.  Over the next few weeks I will share the hows and whys of this long gestation period.  You can find both print and/or ebook versions of The Briefcase at Outskirts Press, Amazon Books, Kindle Nooks, Barnes and Noble, Nook Books and Apple Books.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Author, Author

The Dickerson Pondit has not been at all faithful to his blog. Shame on him! It is not that he has abandoned the pen and paper or more truthfully the keyboard and Microsoft Word. While traveling across the northern US of A this past June and July, the Pondit decided he would spend some time writing stories. In the past six weeks he has written two short stories and started his first novel. The two stories are fully finished in draft form and he has asked some friends to help him with editing the stories. The novel is still in construction mode but he has made significant progress. The plot line is developing nicely, at least the Pondit believes it is, but with the transition from short stories to a full blown novel, there will need to be a great deal of follow-up work to do a better job in developing the characters in the book. For reasons unknown to anyone including the Pondit, the novel is set in Key West Florida. Perhaps he has a fixation on Hemmingway or he just isn't as clever as he should be.
His first story is set in Valeria, the home of Dickerson Pond. This is place well known to the Pondit and made the writing of the story a little easier. He did not have to spend hours using Google Maps to find names for locations and try to fathom what was north, south east or west from the point of action in the story. The second story is part of a proposed trilogy on technology. The technology in the second story is texting. It is fairly short and raises some concerns about privacy in this new world of instant communications. The Pondit is hoping that he can get some of his work published. The Pondit also heads out when he sees a rainbow to try and find the pot of gold that the leprechauns hide at the end of the colored arc.
I am going to share chapter one of the novel, The Briefcase, with my blog followers. Feedback from the highly intelligent readers of the Dickerson Pondit is as always, gratefully accepted. So far the novelist has penned thirty-one chapters of his first book

FYI:  I will not be sharing parts of my copy righted book on this blog.

Seats for Sale

Seat for Sale, Seats for Sale

Let this post be a harbinger of things to come. The good (read that as poor) people of Collier and Lee Counties in southwest Florida are in the midst of primary elections for the 19^thCongressional District.  We elected Trey Radel, a freshman congressman, last election.  His most pertinent experience was that of a Conservative radio talk show host.  He resigned his seat when a cocaine using scandal was about to go to the House Ethics Committee.  Well in our district, the only race that counts is the Republican primary.  There are four bona fide candidates in the race.  Three of them and some Super PACS have jammed our TV with venomous attack ads.  One has said nothing, but he does stuff envelopes and send out campaign information aka the 1950’s.  God bless him!  Besides the mudslinging, the only message I have heard during the campaign ads of all three candidates is that, “I will repeal Obamacare!”  I believe this is a reference to the Affordable Care Act.  Now these candidates are running for a seat in the House of Representatives.  I might have lost track, but hasn’t the House of Representative voted over fifty times to repeal this “law of the land?”  Perhaps they are confused and think they are running for the Senate?  Forgive me for I have seriously meandered.  Be aware, the upcoming midterm elections will ruin TV watching for almost all America.

But to complain, and not offer any alternative solution is not the Pondit’s way.  I want to use this space to present a framework of an alternative.  It is sketchy, but forgive me for not thinking it through fully.  If the plan gains any traction, I will gather some of my colleagues on both sides of the aisle to fill in any gaps.

I want to propose a Fantasy Congress.  The focus will be a more efficient and effective manner to chose our House representatives.  Except for the serious negative impact on broadcasting advertising budgets, I believe this might be the best thing since sliced bread.  Keep in mind; this plan is only a framework.  Here are some key points of the plan:

•       There is no election with voters going to the polls.  This might ruin a day out for the 38% of potential voters that actually cast a ballot each election plus the even fewer even who turn out for primary elections (less than 20%). Hey, no pain no gain.  $KACHING$:  It costs districts millions of dollars to hold an election.  Without these elections, all taxpayers are saving money.
•       Each Congressional district will hold an auction for its Congressional seat.  Lobbyist and other special interest groups will bid (A televised auction with paddles will make better TV than CSpan could ever hope for.)  $KACHING$:  I can only begin to imagine the amount of money the Federal, or make it State, governments will make from these auctions.  I do not believe $10,000,000 per seat is beyond reach.  If that were indeed the number every two years would bring in $4.35 billion.
•       Each successful bidder would have to make a matching donation to pay down our national debt.  $KACHING$: That is another $4.35 billion.
•        Like before Congressional districts will be allocated by states with each district being equal in population.  Most districts will be in the shape of the winning bidders choice.  Many might be outlines of elephants or donkeys.  But it is easy to imagine major corporate logos such as: Target, BP, Shell, Nike, UPS, Coke, Disney, FedEx, CitiGroup, DuPont, AT&T, Ford, Mercedes Benz, Boeing, GM, McDonalds, IBM, Apple, GE, Kraft, …  Perhaps major lobbying group logos such as:  American Bar Association, Institute for National Gas, the coal industry, Citizens United, Marijuana Legalization, Green Peace, NRA (perhaps a district in the shape of a 45 Colt Automatic), Halliburton, BBB, Cruise Ship Industry,  …  We might even consider foreign bidders:  Saudi Arabia, Chinese Manufacturing Association, French Wine Industry, … And even individuals: Koch Brothers, Bloomberg, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet,…  $KACHING$: All political maps in print, online or on TV would have to include these symbols.  A price of $5,000,000 per symbol seems reasonable.
•        All expenses of the new congressmen including salary, staff, traveling, housing and other are paid by the organization that appoints the congressman.  Congressmen cannot live in or about Washington, DC.  Fulltime residence must be in their home districts.  House sessions, committee meetings, sub-committee meeting all will be done via video conferencing.  $KACHING$: These savings are hard for me to estimate, but we have to be looking in $100,000,000 range.

This might not be a perfect solution.  Consider what we have now?  Does this sound any worse?

Vineyard Cottage Somewhere in Central California

Vineyard Cottage in Templeton

Vineyard Cottage in Paso Robles

Vineyard Cottage in Cambria

Vineyard Cottage Somewhere in Central California

Barbara and I are on our fourth stop of our summertime California trip.  We are staying at a lovely cottage near Paso Robles (www.vrbo.com/170229). This cottage is as nice as the one we rented in Los Olivos (see previous blog post) and actually more scenic. A renowned silversmith, Randy Stromsoe (www.randystromsoe.com) owns the cottage.  Randy and his wife, Lisa, live in a large “barn” down in the valley below the cottage.  The first floor of the building is his workshop and the family lives upstairs.  They have several acres of grapes under cultivation and a friend and neighbor actually takes the grapes after harvest to make some fine wines.

The cottage is located on a property at the intersection of Old Creek Road and Route 46.  Old Creek road winds, and I do mean winds, about twelve miles to US1 near Cayucos.  Route 46 runs from Templeton to US1 just south of Cambria. The drive to Cambria goes over the mountains protecting the shoreline at 1,741 feet and has some spectacular costal vistas. We have done most of our food shopping in Templeton, but the town lacks a full grocery store, yet has a Trader Joe’s.  We also found a local fruit stand with delicious heirloom tomatoes.  Next to Trader Joe’s are a fish store and an adjacent meat market.  Both are small but adequate.

The afternoon we arrived, we had lunch in the center of Paso Robles.  The restaurant food was okay, but we had a wonderful bottle of wine, Epoch Estates Blend.  We wondered if we would come across the winery in our travels.  We were somewhat shocked at the restaurant, Artisan, when a toy poodle of one of the women sitting in a booth across from us jumped up on their table.  Soon after the dog was on the booth seat lapping water from the owner’s water glass.  After the meal we mentioned this to the hostess, who seemed not to be concerned.  She said the poodle was a “service dog” and thus allowed in the restaurant.  I wonder what service except companionship a toy poodle can provide.  We cancelled our Saturday night reservations at the Artisan restaurant.

Did I mention that it gets very dark at night up on our hill?  It does.  We have had no moon in the early evening and there are more stars visible than I can imagine.  It is possible to sit out on the front porch after dinner and enjoy the evening breeze with little or no harassment from insects.  The only break in the evening silence is the buzzing of insects in the trees and the occasional car traveling along RT46 about 1,500 yards away.  I did have one insect visitor in the afternoon that I wish I had missed.  Walking to our car that we park about 50 yards from the cottage – the driveway up to the cottage is not one where you want to use reverse gear at anytime.  We park at an area we can turn around easily to head back down to civilization. Coming back from the car I noticed something ambling along a large graveled area at the side of the cottage.  Taking a look, it was a spider, a large, very large spider.  Using my foot it took about three kicks to get the beast back into the forested back of the house and into the fallen oak leaves.  Heading straight to Google, I was able to ascertain that I had encountered a California tarantula. I am not a big fan of spiders.

We played golf twice this week.  It was the Ying and Yang of golf courses.  The Links at Paso Robles was rather “rustic”.  No water, no sand in the traps, no benches, no shade and long.  The gas golf cart sputtered and belched every time it was started.  The only foliage besides grass were coyote bushes.  Beyond the rough (and everyone knows I play beyond the rough) were expanses of hard packed soil.  Your ball could roll another 50 yards in this outback area.  The clubhouse is a double wide.  It was cheap, $33 each with a cart.  We did get to see a rocket launch that took place at Vandenberg AFB while playing!  Two days later we played Hunter’s Ranch merely a mile and a half from the links.  This was a very nice course.  Like most California courses we played, it was not set up for a woman’s game.  Barbara found it very hard.  The slope rating is 131 from the white tees.  I shot a 93 even though I shot a double bogie each of the four par fives (with a good drive on each of those holes!).  We went through three bottles of water and four Coors Lights during the round and were glad we took the pro shop’s advice to fill our cooler with ice at the restaurant.  We walked off the course and the temperature was 102.  Dry heat or not, we were roasted.

I am really rambling on this post.  Let me sign off with one more light coincidence.  Remember that nice bottle of wine we had at our first meal in the area?  Later that afternoon we headed from the cottage to Templeton to purchase some groceries.  Less than two miles from the cottage, Barbara notices a billboard up on a mountain surrounded by trees indicating the next left turn is the tasting room for Epoch Wineries.  The next day we stopped in and tasted and bought three fine wines.  The 2009 Reserva Tempranillo and the 2010 Authenticity are the two best wines we have had on this trip.