January on the Beach

So…..Below is a quote from my last post.  It has come to my attention that this post was actually created and submitted by my recently formed “Super PAC” – OldFartinFlorida.com.  I believe it is my responsibility to check the facts in the quote.

I have to confess that I always thought escaping to Florida was for the weak of heart and that real New Yorkers enjoyed the challenges of winter weather.  Well I was living a delusion!  How did I equate ice fishing with surf casting, snowshoeing with winter golf, sidewalk dining with soup and hot chocolate aimed at warming my insides. Wearing silk underwear instead of Tommy Bahama shirts and flip flops?  What was I thinking!  I will attempt to maintain my dignity this winter.  I will avoid the temptation of the early bird special and refrain from joining a game of Florida “lob” tennis.  There will be no pink flamingos on the lanai.  I will drive at or over the speed limit and limit Kmart visits to no more than once a week.  I will not purchase and wear wrap around sun glasses and will continue doing the NYT daily crossword puzzle instead of the daily word search game in the local Naples paper. If available, I will support the Occupy Naples Movement when and if it ever comes to be.

·      equate ice fishing with surf casting – at the time this was written, I had never been ice fishing in my life.  Except for those of Norwegian heritage living in the frozen upper Midwest, no one goes ice fishing.  Can you think of a colder less active sport than ice fishing?  Now, I have tried a couple of days of surfcasting.  The muscles on my now longer right arm are killing me.  The closest I have come to catching a fish (mammal) was one cast that landed three feet from a porpoise leisurely fishing off shore.

·      snowshoeing with winter golf – I have tried snowshoeing.  This was done in northern Vermont at Smuggler’s Notch.  It was a great way to get four hours of walking exercise in a twenty-minute stretch.  If you need snowshoes to go out walking, stay at home.  Winter golf I have yet to try.  Since arriving in Florida on January 10^th, I have spent most every day baby sitting contractors and shopping for home furnishings.  We are already into Bed Bath and Beyond for over $1,000.  Is there a kitchen gadget I have not yet purchased?

·      sidewalk dining with soup and hot chocolate – Sidewalk dining is an activity we have tried quite a few times since getting to Florida.  This we like.  The temperature has been so fine; we usually sit in the sun.  Remind me to put on more sunscreen!  I have been eating soup for lunch, but prefer ceviche to hot chocolate while in Florida.

·      Wearing silk underwear instead of Tommy Bahama shirts and flip flop – The PAC got this right.  Silk underwear are a northern golfers last resort to try and end the season on a positive note.  That strategy never works.

·       I will avoid the temptation of the early bird special and refrain from joining a game of Florida “lob” tennis – Unfortunately in Florida there is a fine line between getting to a restaurant for the early bird special and arriving after seven o’clock in the evening to find the restaurant dark and the staff vacated.  We are still working on our dining timing.  As for “lob tennis” please refer to the bullet point about “winter golf”.

·      There will be no pink flamingos on the lanai – Once again the PAC is on the mark.  This is only due to the strong influence of my wife.

·      I will not purchase and wear wrap around sun glasses and will continue doing the NYT daily crossword puzzle instead of the daily word search game in the local Naples paper – Since we arrived in Florida about ten days into the winter season, every store we checked was out of the sunglasses.  I thought I could find a pair someone might leave in a restaurant (you know we of a certain age) but everyone seems to have them tied to their head.  I wonder if they sleep with them on?  I have been sticking with the NYT crossword puzzle but miss doing them on paper.  It is not the same using my iPad APP.

·      If available, I will support the Occupy Naples Movement when and if it ever comes to be – I hear it exists.  Rumor has it they congregate at the Walmart in north Naples.  There are no tents, but a plethora of webbed beach chairs.  The crowd breaks up around one in the afternoon and usually heads directly to Denny’s for the EBS (Early Bird Special).  Similar to Occupy Wall Street in NYC, it is hard to pin the group down on their demands.  I did hear talk about wider turning lanes and roadside signs to remind people which day of the week it is.

You gotta love Florida!

December on the Bench

Here is a lost posting, I found in my files.  It was written on December 19th.

December on the Bench

The Pondit is alive!  It is almost noon on a sunny but brisk December afternoon.  The breeze is coming in from the west –- unfortunately that means it is blowing into my face – and the keyboard of my MacBook Pro is more than a tad chilly.  The sound of The Doors singing “LA Woma”n is the only thing besides my fleece jacket that is keeping me warm.  Tomorrow the Christmas tree is purchased, erected and decorated with the help of family and friends. Although it might appear that The Pondit is hunkering down for a frigid New York winter; that is far from his reality.  On January 9^th The Pondit and his beautiful bride board the AutoTrain outside of our nation’s capitol and head on down to warm and sunny Naples, Florida to spend four months on the Gulf of Mexico making sand castles instead of snowmen.  Although I am a firm believer in global warming and even the controversial and yet to be proven theory of evolution, waiting for tropical winters in Westchester New York is out of my frame of reference.  I will finish The Briefcase drinking rum and cokes and gazing northward toward Sanibel Island on our lanai in Naples.  How appropriate, The Doors have morphed into Sailing sung by my brother, Russell, on my iPhone.

I have to confess that I always thought escaping to Florida was for the weak of heart and that real New Yorkers enjoyed the challenges of winter weather.  Well I was living a delusion!  How did I equate ice fishing with surf casting, snowshoeing with winter golf, sidewalk dining with soup and hot chocolate aimed at warming my insides. Wearing silk underwear instead of Tommy Bahama shirts and flip flops?  What was I thinking!  I will attempt to maintain my dignity this winter.  I will avoid the temptation of the early bird special and refrain from joining a game of Florida “lob” tennis.  There will be no pink flamingos on the lanai.  I will drive at or over the speed limit and limit Kmart visits to no more than once a week.  I will not purchase and wear wrap around sun glasses and will continue doing the NYT daily crossword puzzle instead of the daily word search game in the local Naples paper. If available, I will support the Occupy Naples Movement when and if it ever comes to be.

It is too cold to write more.