The Briefcase: New Age Research

Although The Briefcase is a work of fiction, I decided to incorporates many real locations and real entities that were practical and would not find me in a lawsuit.  When I started The Briefcase, I was living in Westchester County, NY.  For whatever reason, the only logical place I could think of for a person to find a briefcase floating in the water was the Florida Keys.  Why I did not choose nearby Long Island, the Hudson River or the New Jersey shore is beyond my comprehension.  I know all these places.  I have been to them hundreds of times.  The closest I have ever been to Bahia Honda Key is a technology conference boondoggle at The Breakers Resort in Palm Beach Florida.  The Briefcase action all begins in the most southwestern part of the Florida Keys just east of the city of Key West.  The only way I can do this is with the help of my research assistant:

Google

I used Google to search facts, places, view maps and verify some of the technology I used in the novel.  Readers of The Briefcase are forewarned that the fact that I could not verify some factual point did not alway prevent me from including it in the novel.  A case in point is that in The Briefcase the plot is enhanced with the use of an underwater drone or very small unmanned submarine. I needed this drone to be able to go very long distances that were beyond the range a battery powered engine.  I conveniently added a fuel cell system to propel the drone.  I am fairly certain such a system is not technically practical for a small drone.  Hopefully, this will slip by for most readers.  After all, it is not as fantastic as Scotty's Transporter needed to move those Star Trek episode along.

A place where I did use Google to make certain a critical prop in the novel was possible is the briefcase itself.  This is not a spoiler.  The promotional material for The Briefcase clearly states that the briefcase contains money, lots of money.  I envisioned the money in the briefcase to be $1,000 bills.  This was fine, until a friend of mine mentioned that although $1,000 bills are in circulation, they are now longer minted and are rare to find.  I now was faced with a choice.  If I switch the to $100 bills, how much money can I get into the briefcase.  If I change the amount, I have a gazillion other changes to make in the novel.  The novel also loses some of its punch with less money.  I got to use my four years of scientific and engineering higher education.  Although a normal executive attache case is not large enough, a briefcase used by an attorney or accountant is large enough.  So I leave in the briefcase and leave it up to the reader make their own mental picture of what the briefcase looks like.

The Briefcase: "Open wide, I am your editor and this won't hurt."

Dr. Joel Feimer is my editor.  He is a fine gentleman with a gentle nature (most of the time).  He read my 120,000 word first draft and praised the plot as it existed at the time.  Praise is always a good way for an editor to help soften what will come next when dealing with an author's ego.  I believe it is safe to say that the typical author's ego rivals that of a politician's ego.  

Next he gently mentioned he would like to know more about some of the characters. He pointed out that sometimes he could not figure out what was motivating a character's actions.  He said the most interesting books he had read -- this is from someone whose home is like a library and who rents a storage locker so he can rotate books in and out of storage and the house. Joel is not capable of walking past a bookstore without stopping to browse it's contents.  He recommended I create a biography for all the major characters.  This would help me create patterns of actions for the characters based on their personal motivations.  If there is an action that is out of character, it will need explanation.  I begrudgingly started these biographies, but questioned their worth since in my mind this was not moving the novel forward.

Once I had started this task and shared what he said was an ongoing task --  the biographies must be updated as they become more complex characters, he next pointed out a passage where one of the major protagonist was talking to his wife.  He pointed out that I wrote they were on the patio of their home.  He assumed I had an idea of what that patio looked like.  Readers will not be able to read my mind on how that patio looks.  I have to give them enough information so the reader and I have a shared vision of the patio.  There will always be room for the reader to enhance the scene, but I should not have a twenty by twenty foot patio in mind and the reader a one hundred foot long multi-leveled patio overlooking an ornate swimming pool.

So I start chapter by chapter revising Word for Mac manuscript.  Joel and I were working on one shared document. Soon the documents had more notes and comments than actual text!  

I will add more in my next post.

The Briefcase: The Editor Cometh

After I finished my first draft of The Briefcase, I knew it now needed the touch of an editor.  Here are some correspondences that portray my search:

This is an email I sent out blindly to a potential editor:

On the advise of her agent and editor, my friend and author, Maggie Barbieri, suggested your website (bookdoc.com) as a place to find an editor/mentor for my manuscript.  I have just finished a first draft of my first novel.  I am pleased with what I have produced, but am very aware that it needs help.  I am not a very disciplined person and have been told that in my writing there is not one tense I do not like.  I have written a mystery/suspense novel with what I believe is an interesting, fresh perspective.  Of course, this is my opinion.  I have written about 120,000 words and focused mainly at moving the plot forward rather than attention to descriptions and character development. My education background is in chemistry and business.  I finished my career working in operations for a dot com company.  I wrote my first short stories a few years ago after retiring at age 62.

What do you suggest for the next steps I should take? I am currently in Naples, FL.  I will return to Westchester Count at the beginning of May.

Here is the response after sending him my 120,000 word first draft:

Thanks for the files. You have a very inventive plot, though it (apparently) seems you are still in search of an ending. After careful consideration I have concluded that whatever I bring by way of editing to the book will not sufficiently enhance its chances of being published to  justify your investing in my time. My sincere wishes for good luck as you more forward with completion of the book. Thanks very much for thinking of me.
I have erased your files in order to prevent any inadvertent disclosure of your material,

Best regards, 

So I tried another editor. He had edited books for Robert Ludlum:

I want to move ahead.  I will send you the double spaced manuscript along with a check for $2,000.  I need an address to send these materials.  I am not good at proofreading my own writing.  It is too easy for me to read over my mistakes.  Word has helped me correct quite a few spelling mistakes, but the auto correct feature has made some interesting substitutions for my typing mistakes.   I will go to Office Max on Friday to make your copy.  I believe it is 292 pages.

I hope we can forge a good partnership in this endeavor.

FYI - The vast majority of the book was written with me sitting at my computer and just typing away.  At times my race to keep my line of thought forced me to move the plot ahead rather than setting the scene or developing the characters.  I hope you find the story intriguing and get to like the characters.

This was done and I received a synopsis initial assessment.  It does not include the 281 specific recommendations he gave to met:

Dear Mr. Holt,
             I’m afraid I can’t be encouraging about The Briefcase. You obviously know your horseracing – the betting scenes, although there are too many of them, are the best in the book – and you use of the drone is intriguing. But, no disrespect, you are simply not a writer, thereby joining the 99.9% of Americans who aren’t either. Your dialogue is particularly weak. You’ll have to learn to use contractions, to avoid using characters’ names when they’re speaking face-to-face, to get your past and present tenses in line, to get inside your characters’ heads rather than simply telling us what they’re feeling.
             Your two main male characters – Chet and Patty – need development. You’ll have to give us a psychological motive for Chet to keep the money; greed isn’t enough, he’ll have to need it, and the device of the dream isn’t strong enough. The way you present him now, he’s unattractive (particularly after his adulterous adventure), and unless the reader sympathizes with him, your story can’t work. Patty is a potentially more interesting man. I like it that he’s censured by the Agency and so winds up siding with Chet, but we need much more of his emotions, his ambivalence, his rage at his wife, his self-doubt. I realize you’re intending the book as a comedy, but genuine feeling and real life situations will only help. Anna is to date the most attractive character in the book, and she shouldn’t be – she’s a subsidiary figure. But at least she’s capable of introspection, something Chet ands Patty desperately need.
             I hope this helps. In your e-mail to me to say that you just sat at your computer and typed away. That’s not way to write a book. You have to outline it so that things planted early pay off later; you have to write biographies of your characters so they remain true to your vision of them; you have to study each sentence to make sure it’s a clear and well written as your can manage. The writing of a book takes a minimum of a year – my guess is that you wrote this in a few weeks. Anyway, call me at 1-203-341-8607 with your questions and comments.
                                                                                     All best, 

These were hard rejections for me. It took me some time and a lot of reflection to realize the two professional were correct.  I found an editor I could work with and trust.  He teaches writing at a local college in Westchester County, New York and is the author of several books.  He is also a friend who lived in the condo on the floor above where I resided.